Poison
by Darkira
Summary: Re-post, originally in my Twi25 compilation. When Jacob falls for his sister's boyfriend, things change. Especially when Paul starts to flirt back. / Angst-warning. AH/AU/M/Slash


**Disclaimer and A/N: **The characters belong to S. Meyer. The story belongs to me.

Thank you, my darling beta. I don't say it enough I think.

This was originally written for Twi25 this year.

Since I pulled quite a bit of my stuff, including all drabbles, I took this and decided to post it separately as it was originally posted in between drabbles in the Twi25-compilation.

_**A re-post, not a new story.**_

I'm not so sure of this o/s. So please do leave a review if you read it.

All opinions are welcome. ;)

-xxXxx-

**Poison**

The feeling when the ice breaks under you when you're crossing over a ditch. When you have time to register that the ditch is too deep and your rubber boots are too low. The split second before your feet are hit with ice cold water as it rushes into your boots.

That's what I feel every time I look at him now.

It started innocently. A glance here, a teasing smirk there. Advancing to touches; lingering fingers when I handed him a beer bottle, arm brushing against mine when I walked past him in the living room, toes touching my ankle under the dinner table.

My sister's boyfriend.

For a moment I thought it was real.

The words were what initiated my self betrayal.

"_Wanna come over watch the game, Jake?"_

"_Can you help me out with this, Jake?"_

"_Hey I think something is wrong with my car, think I heard a noise from the engine, can you come and listen, Jake?"_

"_I need to go to Port Angeles to find a birthday present for Rachel. Want to come with me?"_

Yes. Anything, anytime, anywhere for you, Paul.

I wasn't stupid. In fact I had skipped two years at school after mom died. I supposed I used the time others spent in grieving with studying and reading.

Yet something about Paul threw me off, stripped my bullshit-detector from me and my ability to protect myself at all costs.

-xxXxx-

We were driving to Port Angeles. He was tapping his fingers on the wheel of the car I had once again repaired for him. The song was playing, my song. Our song. Not that he knew it was our song. It was for me.

_I had first dubbed it that after that night at the bonfire months ago. When he touched my hand too long while I was giving him light for his joint. I didn't smoke anything but I still had a lighter on me at all times. _

_His eyes boring into mine, flickering with mischief... _

_Seth walked to the circle carrying his ancient boom box. I recognized the song immediately._

'I want to love you but I better not touch  
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop...'

_I jerked my hand back and a brief flicker of something else in Paul's eyes made me wonder before I got up, put my lighter back into my pocket and walked away from the beach._

He was singing along with the radio now. I could feel how the car sped as he did what most people do, pressed his foot harder on the pedal while a song he was enjoying was playing.

I couldn't help but to hum along.

_'I hear you calling and it's needles and pins  
I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name  
Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin  
I want to kiss you but your lips are venomous poison ...'_

Poor Paul, I wondered if he knew that to me this song was about him, about...us. What ever the hell that was...

"You know you can, right?" he asked suddenly, while I was still humming.

I stopped and looked at him, completely puzzled.

"If you want to, you can," he said and turned his eyes back on the road.

For a moment I wondered if he really meant what he was saying. Or rather, was I reading his words right, was he just playing with me, was he being honest? Endless circles. It didn't differ from what I had experienced in the last year, every single day and night.

My year, after finishing high school two years early because of skipping those grades, had been spent in my dad's garage. Paul, since he was working inside the rez too, was a constant visitor at our house. He was my sisters' age, two years older than I. We had graduated the same time.

Becky wasn't living at home anymore, but Rachel was. I knew she was there to be the woman of the house, to help dad and me, and for Paul too. She didn't want to move; instead she was taking online courses and studying in her free time. I knew she hoped that Paul would propose and they could move to somewhere...bigger and better.

So I had pretty much pined over my sister's boyfriend for a year. I didn't even notice him before he started to date Rachel. Not because he wasn't good looking because he really is... But because he never was there that much. He was always doing the outdoorsy stuff: cliff-diving, surfing, hiking, with his cousin Sam mostly. I, on the other hand, was repairing anything with an engine or a plug attached. That's how I made money when it was sparse, repairing people's shit.

I snapped out of my thoughts when the song changed. Glancing sideways at him I just shook my head a bit and turned my eyes back out the window.

"What?" he asked, in a slightly snappy tone.

"Nothing..." I murmured back with an equal undertone.

"I'll prove it," he said after a moment of silence.

"Sure, sure..."

I didn't believe it for a moment. He never wanted me. Of course he knew how much I wanted him, how one look from him made me swell in my jeans sometimes. He knew how my skin tingled when he touched me briefly, when nobody was watching.

But he was never going to stop teasing. He would always do it, until the day he'd leave the rez with my sister. If I was never sure of anything else in my life, of that I was certain of.

Suddenly he turned onto a crossroads which would take us to the side of town instead of to the center and the mall I knew he wanted to go to.

"Wh...?" I made a sound but he held up a hand.

He steered the car into one of those nondescript roadside motels and drove around the building to the parking lot. I had heard about this place. It was where people came to have affairs.

I gawked at him.

I was in no way inexperienced, hell, I had gone to Seattle to a gay club a few times. I was tall and fit for my age and nobody ever questioned me. I suppose that came from being older than my years in more than a few ways.

But Paul?

"Are you serious?" I breathed and looked at him.

"Dead serious," he said and parked the car before getting out and running to the front desk inside.

I got out and leaned on the hood of his beloved car while waiting. Still skeptical, I was pretty much sure he wouldn't go through with anything. He had never even kissed me. Taking me to a motel to show me he was serious...yeah, right. Serious about what exactly? That I could kiss him? Touch him? Fuck him?

Soon he jogged out and pointed to a door not far from the car.

"We're signed in as Mr and Mrs Cooper." He smirked and I rolled my eyes. I wasn't going to get into the argument about which of us was which.

Instead I stalked after him to door number 13.

Snorting, I stared at the number. Yeah I was fucking superstitious, sue me.

Once in the little room, surprisingly clean and not that disgusting by the way, he stopped in the middle and turned around.

"So what are you going to prove?" I asked, challenging him a bit.

I was a few inches taller than him and it looked like he just realized it.

"By the way, Paul... I'm a top. Do you even know what it means?" I smirked, raising a brow.

He swallowed and went slightly pale.

"So no, you might be able to play me outside this room, but in this room, I play you," I murmured and took a step forward, knowing well that I looked like a predator. He was my prey. He had said that I could.

If there was one thing I knew about him, he never backed down.

His eyes filled with something close to defiance mixed with slight fear.

"Don't worry...I won't bite...hard..." I whispered the last word into his ear as I leaned down.

The sound escaping him proved something; he was getting turned on. Whatever he had really thought when getting into this room with me, this was happening.

"Nevertheless, if you're not backing out," I said looking at him and he shook his head and swallowed again, "I'm going to do this right."

I took out my wallet from my back pocket and dug out a condom and one of those soft little lube containers you could carry with you.

"Jake..I..." he said and most of his bravado was gone.

"You're chickening out? You thought you could fuck with my head for a year and then take me to a motel and fuck my body too? Seriously Paul? Is that how you thought I was to be treated?" I spat the words at him.

"No I..."

"Well guess again, Romeo. I'm not the naïve little boy you think I am. You thought I was inexperienced, right? That you could just try this out and be done with me?" I challenged him with my words and my whole posture.

Suddenly he seemed to get over whatever he was pondering and the usual, cocky smirk spread on his face.

"Okay then, Black. Show me what you got," he taunted me and I dropped the lube and the condom on the nightstand before walking to Paul and grabbing him by his neck.

I wasn't the hesitant one now. Not the one who shivered under his every touch. Here I could be me.

Crushing my lips to his, I backed him into the now closed door. I was ravenous for him, I needed to taste his lips, his skin, every bit of him now that I could.

Growling against his neck when I felt his arousal pressing against mine, I looked at him.

"You've never done this but you really want me, don't you?" I asked, knowing both of the answers. It was clear that he had never kissed a man, he was shocked at the roughness, how I controlled the situation.

"You thought so many things, even entering this room... Never assume things about me," I said and stepped back, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulled him with me towards the bed.

I whipped my own t-shirt over my head and waited for him to lose his. Toeing my boots off I looked at him mirror that movement too. Then jeans, until we were standing there, me naked since I had gone commando like I often did, and him in his boxer briefs. Briefs that were tenting slightly. I looked at him and smirked.

"I almost wish I was a bottom, your cock looks like it would feel so good buried in my tight ass..." I spoke in a low tone, making him shiver lightly and look shocked but turned on at the same time.

Before he could ask, I interrupted him. "No, it wasn't an offer."

Stepping to him again, I took his hand and wrapped it around my cock. I wasn't insanely turned on, partially because I was still sure he'd back off. Somehow he knew this.

"Jake...I'm not going anywhere. It isn't how I envisioned it but I want this...you..." he said and actually looked shy for a moment.

His hand was tentative, careful, but when I made the sounds he was waiting for, he got more sure of himself.

"Yeah, just like that..." I breathed on his neck. My forehead was resting on his shoulder and his hand worked my cock slowly, but the hesitation was gone now.

I turned my hips a bit, so that he had room to touch me but I could press my thigh against the bulge in his boxers. There was a wet spot in the fabric, his pre-cum was leaking from him, just like mine was from the head of my cock his thumb brushed over every now and then.

"Stop..." I managed to say. Pulling his underwear off and letting it fall to his ankles I guided him to sit on the edge of the bed before I dropped to my knees. "As much as I'd like this to last, we don't have much time," I reminded him and I reached for the lube.

Concentrating on _not_ thinking about the fact that my sister was doing this pretty regularly or if she wasn't that she should, I took him in my mouth.

Having had practice, I was pretty good at giving head and I could hear it from Paul's reactions.

There was nothing timid about how I sucked him. I didn't mind if I made slurping sounds or gagged when his hips shifted involuntarily and he hit the back of my throat at a bad angle. When I discreetly ripped open the lube container and spread it on my fingers I was more than interested to see what his reaction would be.

He nearly jumped when he felt my fingers circling his hole. Sure I had encouraged him to scoot away from the edge, just to get more space to work on him, but he was too lost in the blow job to figure out what I was about to do.

"Now relax. If I stretch you, it shouldn't hurt much," I explained and he nodded, his eyes dark with lust but there was fear and hesitation in them now as well. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you. I might be different here, but I'm not _that_ much different..." I chuckled before leaning to suck him again. I wasn't into hurting people. Even though I was the dominating one now, it didn't turn me in to someone violent.

I looked up at him, my hair was falling around me, over his thighs and his lap. I wondered when he had pulled the band off my hair. Somehow I knew he liked it, how I looked with my hair free like this.

There must have been mischief in my eyes when I grazed his prostate with my finger. The shocked gasp he let out was an indication this was new to him too. Maybe he had wanted me, but he had probably never though this through. He wasn't stupid, far from that, he was just...him.

When he was stretched enough, and I could tell he was by the way his hips were shifting as he was fucking himself on my fingers, I pulled my hand and mouth away. His eyes opened, the look in them was nearly panicked.

"I want something too, blowing you hardly gets me off. Besides, this will be so much better," I said in my sure tone, the one he knew only from inside these walls.

Paul nodded and I took the rubber, ripping the foil before rolling it over my cock. No this wasn't what I had thought it would be. But fantasies were rarely met in reality anyway.

I was positioning myself at his entrance when it hit me; I couldn't look him in the eyes. Not after all he had done, not when he wasn't mine but my sister's.

"You know what..." I said, backing off the bed, "get on the edge and onto all fours."

The relief was there in his brown, hesitant eyes again. Unlike his usual self, Paul wasn't talking much but his face was telling me everything I wanted, and needed, to know. Usually it was the other way around. He was chatting but there was always a mask on. He couldn't hide from me though. Maybe that was what terrified him so right now.

"I'm not going anywhere," I said, stroking my cock slowly as I reached for the lube to coat myself, "but I want to do it this way."

"Okay..." he said breathlessly as he moved and did as I asked him to.

"Drop down to your forearms."

And there he was, his ass in the air, waiting for me to fuck him as I'd always hoped to. Part of me wished I could say no. That I could just walk away and leave him there like that. If not for any other reason than for toying with me for all this time.

Instead... "Do you know what it's like to be fucked by a man, Paul?" I purred to him, stroking his back and sides with my hands. He glanced at me over his shoulder and shook his head, his adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed.

"If I had no feelings for you what so ever, I'd just fuck you...but since we've established there's more to this than that, I won't." While I spoke, I rubbed my cock against his ass, savoring every little tremble of anticipation I could coax out of him.

"Instead I'll do this the right way..." I said and slowly pushed against his entrance, touching his skin gently, almost lovingly, as I fought the need to possess him. When he exhaled and relaxed, the head of my cock slipped in effortlessly. There was a moan from one or both of us, I couldn't tell.

Inch by inch I pushed in and pulled back, pushed in and pulled back, stopped if he winced or tensed the wrong way. Finally, minutes later, I was fully sheathed inside him and I could feel sweat rolling down my bare back.

A low moan from him made me move again. This time I was pulling out almost completely before pushing in as deeply as I could. I loved the angle, but it wasn't the only thing that made his heat around my cock feel so good. Maybe I was fooling myself, but it felt good emotionally too. This was where I belonged: with him. It wasn't what I had thought it would be, but it was still Paul I was fucking slowly, Paul I was coaxing these sounds out of.

I was in love with him.

The thought caused the intensity to turn up a notch. Suddenly the slow movements weren't enough anymore.

"Get up," I said and reached to wrap a hand across his chest from behind for leverage. "This is how I want to fuck you." I growled, the possessive side of me that wanted him, despite my sister or whatever else was in the way, taking control.

He turned his head and I kissed him deeply, enjoying his taste for a moment. I let go of his lips, moving mine to his neck and shoulders as I pounded in to him.

"Touch yourself," I said in a commanding tone and he complied instantly.

"Oh fuck..Jake..." he whispered when I made sure to sweep past his sweet spot with every thrust.

To hear my name from his lips... The coil began to tighten inside me and I knew it wouldn't be long now.

My lips turned to teeth on his neck and I bit down, not hard, but it was still enough for him to suddenly come almost violently when the pain mixed with his pleasure.

I was too far gone with the spasms around my cock for his words to prevent my orgasm when he gasped, "No marks..."

Whipping my mouth away from his neck I came inside him, inside the condom, and the disappointment washed over me instead of the joy it should have been. He collapsed on the bed and I pulled out as soon as I could.

Without another word I walked to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and wash the sweat off myself a little. He could clean up himself. 'No marks.' Two little words that changed everything, reminded me again of who he was and what this was for him...

My fingers gripped the porcelain of the sink when I felt his hand slide up my back. For a moment, under that gentle touch, the hope flickered within again. His fingers combed my hair for a moment until he stepped into the shower and washed himself, humming something under his breath.

I was dressed again when he came from the bathroom and gathered his clothes to put them on. I knew the next step, what ever it was, was up to him. People on the rez knew I was gay but nobody spoke of it. I was a guy still, worked at the garage and did guy stuff like watch football with my dad and his mates while drinking beer. But nobody talked about me liking cock, _preferring_ it.

There was a silence between us, but I saw Paul shoot glances at me. Glances I couldn't decipher. Maybe he was thinking too? Maybe he was coming up with ways to tell me he wanted me? Ways to tell my sister that?

Driving to the mall didn't take long after we left the motel. It wasn't rush hour yet.

"I'll go check some stuff at the bookstore," I told him and he just nodded, looking at the boutiques and shops around us.

I walked to the bookstore, finding a few paperbacks I'd been meaning to read for a while now along with a few more work-related books. When I left the store to look for Paul, it took me a while to spot the familiar short black hair and hear his familiar laughter.

I looked at the sign above the open doorway of the little shop he was in. A jeweler.

Curiosity killed the cat...

Walking to the doorway quietly, I listened to the conversation.

"Well I'm certain if she doesn't like it you can make it up with the wedding ring," the clerk said and it hit me; Paul was buying my sister an engagement ring for her birthday. He planned on proposing to her.

After I just fucked him in the motel, after he initiated the fucking in the motel...he was still going to propose to her?

I huffed in disbelief, and Paul turned around. I didn't stop to look at him, didn't make eye contact, when I whirled around and walked the long way out of the mall and to the car. Part of me wanted to just walk away to the nearest bus stop and get to Forks by my own means.

"Jake!" he called after a few moments and I didn't raise my eyes when I heard his steps approaching.

His boots stopped before me and the little bag in his left hand, bearing the logo of the jeweler's, mocked me.

"Did you think it would change anything? That I would go back home and announce to your sister that I was leaving her to be with her brother?" he asked and I lifted my eyes to look at him. "Did you think I would really sacrifice everything for you? For a kid like you?" he asked, incredulous look in his eyes. He really was surprised about my reaction.

"No," I said, after giving it a bit of thought. "But I also wouldn't have fucked you into oblivion if you had told me that," I nodded sharply towards the bag, "was what you were coming here to buy." I realized I was snarling the last words but I didn't care.

He looked at me, something in his eyes was torn, somehow I knew he was hurting too.

"Paul..." I started and dropped the subject.

Raising his hand to my shoulder, he looked at me. His hand against me felt heavy like led.

"Don't touch me..." I pleaded, suddenly holding on to my composure. I knew I'd never feel him again. "Don't even look at me. Don't come close to me and if you ever tease me again, I'll knock you out." I forced the words out of my mouth before I looked at him. "I might be some experiment, some poor gay kid you wanted to use, but I'm no-one's fool. Don't you know all I wanted was to fuck your tight little ass." I lied, more than I had lied before in my life so far.

"Don't you know I wanted to get an edge, something to hold above your head if you didn't leave me alone. What would Sam say if he knew you were just drilled by a man?" I spat the words out, concealing the hurt under a thin, fragile layer of hatred and contempt.

His eyes flashed dangerously, this was the Paul I knew better. He was shaking with suppressed anger.

"Drive me home," I told him, sneering at him as I walked to the door of the car, waiting for him to unlock it.

Paul composed himself and got into the car and we drove back to Forks in silence. Even the radio was quiet.

Two nights later, on Saturday dinner when both of my sisters were home for a change, Paul got to one knee and proposed to Rachel in front of us all. My sisters and father teared up.

The girls gushed over the ring as Paul turned to shoot me a look.

_'One look could kill  
My pain, your thrill...'_

The words of our song were playing in my head while the feeling of ice breaking under me overtook my whole being again.

The next day I went to the barber's and cut my hair short.


End file.
